Accommodation in the Internet Age

Our plan of attack when it comes to accommodation on this trip is that we try first to camp, but if we can't find a campground suitable before sundown or it's too cold, wet or windy to camp, we look for a “Mom and Pop” motel. For our readers who are not accustomed to this American institution, “Mom and Pop” motels are family run motels that are not chain motels or hotels. Most of the motels that dot the highways and interstates these days are big brand name chain motels, such as, Motel 6, Super 8, Holiday Inn, Doubletree Inn, Best Western, Comfort Inn, Days Inn, etc, etc. These types of motels are nice, clean and you get what you would expect in terms of services and facilities all the way down to the biscuits and sausage gravy with all-styrofoam crockery you get for breakfast. No surprises. Well, the Green Blazing team likes surprises, that is why we go for the oft kooky and unusual “Mom and Pop” motels. Sometimes they are a little cheaper too (but not always).

So, when we don't camp and we need a motel, we find our accommodation accordingly:

• Whip out Droid phone and use GPS app to locate all of the motels and hotels in the region.
• Eliminate all chain motels.
• Read the Google reviews for the remaining motels.
• Make selection based on reviews.

Now the reviews are the really good part of this process and we nearly always find ourselves in stitches (mixed laughter and nervous sickness kind of stitches) after reading them. Here are some of the most intriguing reviews we've come across. (Names of motels have been removed, not because we don't want to embarrass the owners, but because we don't want you to know that we were considering staying in such a place). Of-course, the funniest reviews are negative ones, which is why they are over-represented below.

“OMG Never Again”

“OMG! So first thing I noticed is the dead, crispy, dry frog in the bathroom. When was the last time they cleaned this room?? I then called the front desk to complain and have them take care of it and what do they say? "Well, can't you just get some toilet paper and pick it up and flush it?" WHAT??? Then I noticed there is a bar of used Dial soap on the sink that isn't wrapped and come to find out, they don't use Dial, housekeeping put they soap someone else brought, used, and left, on the sink for the next person to use. And when I picked it up with toilet paper to throw it away there was a PUBE on the bottom! (Oh Also I'm from Washington where you can't smoke indoors anywhere and the place is reeking of cigarette smoke in the non smoking room.) Then my uncle staying down the hall calls and says he has to move rooms because there's no running water in his room. When he called the front desk they offered to give him a key to another room to borrow the shower! He insisted on getting a new room. I got more mosquito bites in the room than I did outdoors and the morning when we were packing up to leave I had to strip the bed to find my sister's lost toy and there was a beetle running around in the sheets on the bed we were sleeping in! Service in the restaurant was terrible and slow and the "hot" food was served luke warm/cold and there are not options for vegetarians. YUCK. It feels like a rain forrest in your room when you first walk in. The hotel is in a 100 degree weather pattern during the summer and they leave it up to you to start the AC when you get in. Why wouldn't they just have this on at all times or at least the morning of the day you're suppose to check in. This place was a HUGE let down. My mom was SO embarrased to have reserved these rooms for our extended family.”

“They Wouldn't Let My Pet In The Lobby”

“The woman was very unpleasant. She couldn't find my reservation. It was 95 degrees outside and she wouldn't even let me into the lobby to register with my 5 lb. pet chihuahua. I waited 20 minutes in the car with the air conditioner. The room was horrible & smelly, I didn't stay and I am going to dispute the 1 night charge!”

“Wouldn't Stay Here Again”

“Our room was supposed to be non smoking--even had a sign on the door for non-smoking--but upon entering the room we were bombarded by the stench of smoke and there were even ashtrays on the table!! It was just old and cheap and gross feeling. Wouldn't go back. Oh and the Riverside Exotic Experience is right next door...(I guess to some that might be a good thing but not us). I will say the one staff person we interacted with was nice and polite, check in was easy. We checked in at 2am and had no problems. It was also cheaply priced. But still next time I'll shell out a few extra bucks and stay somewhere cleaner and nicer.”

“Terrible Place”

“We needed an affordable place, the sign read 26.99 a night, it ended up costing me $66.00 and a dirty room, looked like it had never been vacuumed under the beds, and my grandaughter found a pill under the edge of the bed, thank goodness I caught her trying to put it in her mouth, but the worst part was when we pulled the sheets back there were pee stains, food and just plain ole dirty, when I told the manager about it he didn't offer me a refund, he just got on the phone and called the housekeeping and put me on the phone with them, if anyone knows who owns this place I would really like to know, I had my 2 children and my 9 month old grandaughter”.

“Not Again”

“For last 6-8 years I've spent the first or second week of August. I've generally been pleased except for two experiences with the office staff in each of the last two years. The last incident involved a discussion of the absence of blueberry muffins on the breakfast menu. The response was curt and offensive. Good PR would have been to respect my regret without signaling to me that my opinion and question were not welcome. This ruined my stay.”

“Keep on Driving. OR READ THE FINE PRINT”

“We spent 2 weeks on the road & this was the worst motel experience we had. The proprietor was unfriendly when we checked in and we should have left then. The breakfast offerings were stale and there are signs saying you cannot take food to your room. After tasting the food, I left. I'm sure that's the idea. We were also charged $100 on our credit card bill in addition to the cost of the room. When I called about this unauthorized charge, the woman I talked to was VERY rude and accusatory and quite aggressive. She said someone had smoked in the room and that my husband had signed a paper authorizing them to charge our card if the room was smoked in. I explained that neither of us smoke. She said that she went in the room right after we left and the fan was on and it looked like we were trying to hide the smoking from her. We did NOT smoke in the room and take showers before we leave motels and leave a fan on to take out the mist. We had to pay the $100 because my elderly husband did not read the fine print and these folks are NUTS. Can we say Children of the Corn!!!”

“Bait and Switch”

The proprietor of The XXX Inn, XXX, is an opportunistic shyster. In addition to making multiple inappropriate comments - to include offering to send my boyfriend to the Best Western (*wink*wink*) - he is running a total bait and switch operation.

When we called to inquire about rooms, we were told the only availability was a suite that slept a family of 6 - 8. Given the fact they were unlikely to book such a large family last minute, XXX was happy to reduce the $220 charge to a regular room rate of $159. Upon checking in, however, he informed us that we had been moved to a “standard condo” and then produced a map to show us the location. Even when I realized it was off The XXX Inn's actual property, I was optimistic the accommodations would be up to par and along the same lines as the Inn. I regret being so wrong....

The “condos” are glorified, smelly apartments located right next to a trailer park with walls so thin we could hear the guy next to us talking, coughing, phone ringing, etc.

When confronted by our upset, XXX commented that the condos were “the only bed in town” that night but they weren't. There were other accommodations available to us, we CHOSE The XXX Inn because we thought we were staying THERE. The local Chamber of Commerce admitted to having received similar complaints in the past and have even had to meet with XXX to discuss. He claims he is making it clear to clientele that they are being put in condos not directly affiliated with The XXX Inn but he is NOT. Furthermore, The XXX Inn had a "Vacancy - Walk In Special" sign up the whole weekend which means he is luring people in and then redirecting them to this trash piece of property.

I now find XXX’s disrespectful comment about the Best Western ironic given that I would have much rather stayed there.

“BEST PLACE EVER. YOU CAN TAKE MY WORD FOR IT”

“If you ever find yourself driving on the very long MT-2 from Medora, ND, to Glacier National Park, Montana, this is a perfect place to stay. It’s only 100 miles east of Glacier, and there’s not much out there other than chain motels; even those are few and far between.

I can honestly say this B&B is the best place I have ever stayed. It’s more than a B&B; it’s a nice house with a big living room, dining area, and kitchen with full frig and microwave. The bedroom has a magnificently comfy overstuffed bed with crisp sheets and comforter. The best is a bathroom to die for. It’s huge with a steam walk-in shower that is wonderful! As someone who pays attention to every detail, I particularly noticed the big, cushy, fluffy towels, and wonderful soaps, shampoos, delicious home-made creams and other items that you would only get in a fancy spa! The place is so clean and fresh and like your own home (only better and cleaner!).

There is full Dish cable with more channels than you can ever watch. The innkeepers keep the place supplied with many books, magazines, and beautiful music CDs to listen to. There is also free wi-fi that’s very fast.

The innkeepers are wonderful. After saying hello to Patty, it seems you have known her your entire life. They are friendly and nice and a pleasure to be around. Her husband Philip came out and greeted us when we drove up.

The best for last: The breakfast. Gourmet doesn’t begin to describe it. Wonderful pancakes with huckleberry jam, espresso, and regular coffee. There were eggs and home-made applesauce and everything was more delicious than the next. Best orange juice I have ever had – and I’m from Florida!! Sure beats a frozen bagel on a Styrofoam plate at a chain hotel!

The price is much less than I have paid for this quality of B&B, and price-comparable to a Holiday Inn that’s an hour farther east. It was $95 a night (May, 2010), and the HI was $100. Extremely reasonable!

I could drone on for hours, but I’m sure you get the idea. You will just have to take my word for it – this is the best place I have stayed. Five stars aren’t nearly enough!”